When a pet dies suddenly, even if we are not at fault, we may blame ourselves. "I should have been more careful, more tolerant, more aware, more ... ". When we may have some responsibility in our pets death, it is even more difficult to face the guilt.
I have owned many dogs during my lifetime. Some have died relatively young, some have died accidental deaths, and some have lived full lives before their deaths. In some cases, I had to make the decision to euthanize my companion because he or she was in pain, or even worse, because I did not have the financial ability to pay for extended treatment. After these many years, I know for sure that I will eventually lose my pet, but it never stops me from engaging in the joy that I know a relationship with a pet can bring.
Grief is a personal journey. When I am faced with the loss of a pet, I recall the good things that my pet and I did together. I recall the time that I spent with my pet, as well as the money that I did not spend on clothes or cars so that I could spend that money on my pet.
Especially if I feel implicated in some way in my pets death, either by action or inaction, I try to remember that no one is perfect in their ability to care for their pet. We all make mistakes from time to time. And our pets may not be able to tell us that they are hurting. From personal experience I know that making the choice to euthanize can be devastating.
I take time to grieve. For people who do not hold pets dear to their hearts, it is hard to understand the depth of the grief that we pet lovers can experience upon the loss of a pet. Be kind to yourself during this period. One of the most therapeutic ways that I grieve is to make a detailed photo album/scrapbook of my pet. This helps me to remember the fun times that we had together, from infancy to death.
I try to memorialize my pet by purchasing something permanent to remember him or her by. One of my favorites is a beautiful plant or tree, planted in memory of my pet. Others may give a gift to an animal charity or veterinary medical research to remember a pet.
I wait for a while before purchasing or obtaining another pet. If you get another pet too soon after the death of a beloved companion, especially a tragic death, it is likely that for the first 2 or 3 years of the new pets life you may unintentionally compare your new pet to the old pet. The period of grieving that you need is individual.
Some people believe that they can never get another pet because it is too painful to lose them. My philosophy is that choosing another pet to fill a void is an honor to your previous pet. You are not replacing your beloved pet, and you will always have his or her memory, but you remember the fun and know that you can provide a good home to a new pet.
The words of the Garth Brooks song "Last Dance" perfectly describe my feelings about the circle of life that we experience with our pets.
http://www.planetgarth.com/lyrics/the_dance.shtml
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